Five months in...

Had another checkup yesterday. The teeth hadn't moved as much in the last month as hoped.

I had what I hope is the last session of shaving down the teeth and Stephen put square wire on as this apparently exerts more pressure on the brackets. I've got various wire ligatures instead of the elastic bands, and some lengths of elastic power chain.

I hugely prefer the wire ligatures to the bands, simply because they don't stain. However the elastic power chains stain like heck so I'm not much further forward.

The plan now is to keep on with the bottom teeth. I have to go back in a fortnight because the top arch is being pulled apart and we want to catch the two front teeth when there is enough room to twist the recalcitrant one but a gap has not yet formed between the teeth which we would then have to close.

With a bit of luck the braces can come off at the end of the month, and it really will have been Six Month Smiles.

Four months in...

I've had a couple of checkups since my last post. The teeth are moving well and more quickly than expected. I have my four month checkup tomorrow and at the last checkup Stephen said that I may be able to get the braces off this visit.

That won't happen, as one of my top front teeth hasn't moved to where I think it needs to go. However the teeth are pretty much completely straight now, which is great. With a bit of luck the braces can come off at the end of September.

The adjustment visits have mostly been OK, apart from the tooth filing. That remains completely, spine tinglingly repulsive. Even the assistant was shuddering last time I had it done! I've generally felt a bit of soreness for a day or two after an adjustment, but not much. I haven't even needed painkillers. Every so often I will feel a weird bit of soreness around a particular tooth for a few days and then it passes.

Now that the teeth are straight they feel as if they are filling up my mouth a bit more. As a result the brackets have become more irritating and noticeable. I'm looking forward to seeing the back of them, to be honest.

The dry mouth and lips continue. I've found a great lip balm made by Simple that has a gloss finish so it looks nice as well as helping with the dry lips.

Lipstick seems to vanish extra quickly these days, but thankfully tinted lip balms seem to be the in thing right now and they last quite well.

Flossing with braces is virtually impossible - especially since Stephen put elastic powerchains all the way along the top last visit. However, I have invested in a Phillips Sonicare airflosser. You charge it up and fill the (tiny) reservoir with water, or mouthwash. You place the nozzle at the gum line, between two teeth and press the button. The machine blasts a mixture of air and water at very high intensity. It can't be as good as floss because you only get the cleaning at the gum line. However the gum line is where most of the gunk hides, and judging by the debris that is dislodged and the amount of bleeding you get when you first start using the airflosser, it is pretty effective. Until you get the hang of closing your lips before pressing the button, however, you will find your entire bathroom filled with water droplets.

The day after the first adjustment....

Ouch.

I feel like I have been kicked in the face by a horse.

That is all.

The first adjustment

I had my first adjustment today.

Just as well, because the bands round my brackets had become an alarming shade of yellow. Admittedly I have not been terribly good about keeping away from curry so it is my own fault.

Stephen had a good look at my teeth and pronounced himself pleased with progress. I have been able to see quite a bit of movement in the bottom teeth but it is not so easy to see the top teeth. Stephen confirmed that there has been quite a bit of movement up top, too.

He took off the bands and the wires. Although the pressure on my teeth has not been uncomfortable or bothersome, it was remarkable quite how much I could feel the release of the pressure when the wires were off.

Stephen shaved off the edges of a few more teeth. At first he used a drill attachment, which was fine. But then he got something that resembled a strip of sandpaper (perhaps it actually was?) and rasped it in between my teeth as necessary.

O.M.G. That is about the most unpleasant feeling I have ever had. It did not hurt at all but the crunchy rasping noises and the slight vibration of the teeth felt really peculiar. It was as unpleasant as nails scratching down a blackboard. Stephen could tell that I was most uncomfortable - I think I was waving my hands around a bit wildly in an effort to distract myself from the rasping.

Thankfully it was soon over, but I am NOT looking forward to more of that. Hey, ho - remember the title of this blog.

Stephen then threaded new wires through. He put some elastics on some of the back teeth - I think that is to close up gaps a bit quicker there so the front teeth can move more. Then the nice clean bands went back on. This part of the process was pretty similar to when the braces were first put on. A lot of pressure as the bands go on, and then it all settles down to a low pressure.

I had taken a painkiller a couple of hours before going. Not because I dreaded the procedure, as it happens, but because I felt a bit rough this morning. I'm not sure that the procedure would have been worse without it, though, and I don't intend to bother next time.

I've read on various forums that the first few days after an adjustment can be a bit painful, but I'm not finding that so far. Good.

Movement!

On Monday I popped back in to see Stephen and have the broken bracket glued back on. The procedure was very quick. The problem was partly due to my upper teeth pressing down on that bracket even with the bite guard on that side, so Stephen put on loads of extra cement and also increased the bite guard size. This means that I now have two areas I can use to chew, which is a huge help.

I went on to see my parents, who had no idea I was having braces fitted. They knew I had been to the dentist beforehand, so as I arrived my mother said "How are the gnashers?"

"Being straightened", said I.

She gave me a funny look. "Does that mean you have an Eggbutt Snaffle?"

What a blast from the past. I was your typical horse mad young girl, and I knew everything there was to know about horses, and then some. (Apart from how to bet on them, but I even know that now.) Anyway, when I had all the headgear in my youth it rather resembled a horse's bit, hence the term Eggbutt Snaffle, which is a type of bit.

"No, I don't have an Eggbutt Snaffle, just clear braces."

"Really?" she said, looking suspiciously at my mouth. I opened to let her have a look.

"Oh goodness, you have stuff EVERYWHERE in there!"

Anyway, we put the world to rights and I managed to resist the chocolate she offered me, since Stephen had said I should not eat anything for at least an hour.

When I got home I had a good long look in the mirror. Something was different about the lower jaw. I don't mean where the bracket had been put back; that had a lot more cement on it and did look different. No, it was the other side. The left side. The side with the one tiresome tooth that had swayed me into having a lower brace.

I could have sworn that after the braces were fitted on Thursday the wire had to kink inwards quite sharply in order to attach to the bracket on the tiresome tooth, and then kink back out again to reach the next one. Now, the wire had only a gentle curve in it. "No" I thought. "That can't happen in four days. Or can it?"

I checked out the photos I had taken immediately after the braces were fitted. The angle isn't ideal but I am positive that there was a definite kink which has now gone.

YIPPEEE! We're on the way.

Days 2 and 3

The weekend passed quite uneventfully. Eating did not get much easier, but the sore feeling when eating and brushing my teeth had significantly reduced by Sunday.

The loose bracket was becoming really quite irritating; I was hugely looking forward to getting back to see Stephen on Monday and getting it sorted out. However, the ulcers, whilst looking big and white and fierce were definitely less painful. By the end of the weekend, as I was applying Bonjela I could get by with just a slight wince, rather than the earlier histrionics of screeching and wringing my hands that I had found it necessary to employ.

I'm getting a bit obsessed with cleaning my teeth. I can still floss between the back molars so I do that first. Then I get the electric toothbrush out. That's a bit dangerous; if you get the angle just right (or wrong, depending on how you look at it) pieces of food that have lodged in the braces suddenly become loose and fly out of your mouth. If you ever go through this procedure, do not make the mistake of leaving them on the mirror after you have finished cleaning your teeth, with the idea of coming back to clean the mirror later on. They will cement themselves on there more firmly than the brackets cemented to my teeth and you will be buying shares in Windolene. Except there won't be any shares left, because I shall have bought them all.

After the toothbrush I use these rather nifty brushes:

Stephen gave me a thing called a Tepe brush to try, which is similar to these but the bristles are much bigger. It's OK, but I like these really tiny brushes. If you have any gaps big enough you can use them instead of floss, which is useful as I can't really floss the teeth behind the brace wires. They're also excellent for brushing all around the edges of the brackets and running in behind the wire. It is amazing how much stuff you can prod out; you could think your teeth were completely clean on looking in the mirror after brushing so it is well worth using one of these little skinny brushes.

I did buy some mouthwash too, but I have been having problems with that. First, it stung my ulcers almost as badly as the Bonjela. I expect that is subsiding, but it is also quite hard to keep my mouth properly shut while swishing mouthwash around. My lower lip, especially, rubs against the brackets and the ulcer gets irritated. I think this aspect will improve with time.

One marvellous effect of having braces (at least for me) is the weight loss.  I've lost a couple of pounds in only 2 days. I haven't felt hungry, particularly. I certainly haven't been doing without stuff, as such, though obviously some things are just too hard to bother trying to eat. What's happening is that I am taking ages to chew each mouthful small enough to swallow. I have always been one to chew food quite thoroughly so to get it to a stage where I think it is just about small enough for me to gulp it down takes me really quite a while. By the time I've eaten about a quarter of a normal portion I've already taken ages and start to feel full. They say you should stop eating when you feel full, but even if you do (which most people don't, especially when eating something they really like) the body takes about 20 minutes to register that you've been eating. Or so I have read somewhere. If you are eating at any kind of speed you can get an awful lot of food down you in 20 minutes. With braces on, I can manage enough food to keep body and soul together in about 20 minutes. Then I feel full, so it's really no hardship. As for snacking between meals; with braces, it just isn't worth the bother, given the cleaning job afterwards. So, unless I suddenly develop a heavy chocolate mousse habit (which is entirely possible) I am hoping that the weight loss will continue.

First full day of braces

The stock of paracetamol remains untouched. I slept remarkably well, which I had not expected.

I was on the phone to the clinic first thing to discuss the broken bracket. They offered me an appointment later that day, but I couldn't make it so I made an appointment for Monday instead.

Had a smoothie for breakfast as I usually do before a gym class, so that was simple enough to get down. At the gym class nobody said anything about my teeth, and nobody was giving me funny looks as I spoke to them so I am supposing they didn't notice the braces. Result!

I usually have fried eggs on toast for lunch after the class. However the chef can sometimes be a bit overenthusiastic about cooking the eggs, and they end up with brown, frilly edges. I didn't think egg frill and braces would be the best of friends so I opted for scrambled eggs instead. The eggs were easy enough to eat and I even managed the centre bits of my toast. Hubby got to eat all the outer crusts - he is liking this state of affairs more and more. The bite guards are really tiresome as there is so little surface area to use for chewing. I don't think I closed my mouth properly when Stephen was checking how to build up the bite guards so I can really only use one tooth on one side. I'm supposed to have the use of both sides.  I'll ask if he can give me some more chewing surfaces when I go in in Monday.

I've got a big ulcer on the inside of my lower lip where it rubs against the brackets on the front teeth. I was prepared for that and bought some Bonjela. MAN, does that stuff sting! I don't know if you have ever tried using New Skin liquid on a small cut. It stings unbelievably, and Bonjela on an ulcer is the same. (If you haven't tried the New Skin, then next time you have a paper cut rub some lemon juice in it if you are curious what it feels like.) Then the Bonjela, or the stinging it causes (I'm not sure which) makes you drool like mad. Pro-tip: wait until you are in private and near a sink before applying Bonjela unless you want to do a public impression of the Victoria Falls in the rainy season.

I discovered later in the evening that I also have a big ulcer inside my cheek where it is rubbing against the loose bracket. That was a surprise as the ulcer is not hurting at all. I thought I'd put some Bonjela on it for good measure and nearly hit the roof.

Dental wax on the front lower brackets is working well to reduce the discomfort from the ulcer at the front. I did try ramming some around the broken bracket as well, but that didn't work as the bracket spins around and dislodges the wax. I suppose if I used a large enough piece of wax it might work, but I don't really want to resemble a hamster with its cheek pouches full.

I did a really bad thing in the evening. I had red wine. And a curry. They tell you again and again that these things stain the brackets. I deliberately chose the least colourful (and softest) menu items I could find. I cut them up really small and stuck them right into the back of my mouth where I could chew them (after a fashion; I think I'd probably be more successful if I had no teeth and was just gumming everything) and then swallow without touching the braces.

The red wine didn't make any stains. Except on my reputation; as I was worried about stains I developed a method of drinking from the glass which kind of directed the liquid towards the back of my mouth rather than swooshing it all over my front teeth. I suspect this made me look somewhat deranged, especially when coupled with licking my front teeth after every swig in order to get any red wine off the braces PDQ. The restaurant staff know us very well, but they seemed oddly reluctant to chat. Perhaps it was just that it was a busy Friday night, and I expect I was imagining the strange sidelong glances they threw in my direction every so often.

I think I successfully negotiated the Seekh Kebab starter as there were no red stains on the braces. I also think I successfully negotiated the Nepali Kathmandu chicken main (it's like Tandoori chicken but coated in green herbs instead of bright red stuff) as there were no green stains on the braces. The blithering Mutter Paneer came in such an innocuous looking pale peach coloured sauce that I think I may have been a bit rash. It was the easiest dish to eat so I could shovel spoonfuls down whilst performing the interminable task of cutting up the chicken small enough to require only minimal chewing.  Yes, I think the Mutter Paneer was my downfall. On arriving home I dashed off to clean my teeth and the braces were stained a light shade of yellow just around the edges. Blast.

Actually, it's really not all that noticeable unless you are looking very closely. Which of course I am 5 times a day as I fiddle about with cleaning. Sigh. Oh well, I have only myself to blame. And the Mutter Paneer.

Getting used to the braces

Hubby came home late so we popped out for a Greek meal as I knew there would be plenty of soft things on the menu for me to eat.

We started with hummus (very easy to suck off pitta bread, although I am not sure how charming this may have looked), halloumi cheese which found every single gap in the braces to wedge itself into, and loukanika sausage which was chewier than I would have liked so I let Hubby finish my share. I think he quite approves of this lark! Chewing was, as expected, difficult, owing to the fact that my teeth don't meet fully. It is possible to get stuff small enough to swallow but I quickly discovered that the smaller you cut things up in the first place, the easier eating is.

For the main course I had meatballs and rice. The Greeks tend to cook their rice very soft, which is great with new braces because you can just swallow the stuff without chewing. I discovered, however, that Fanos (the chef) had been tweaking his recipes again and there was a load of dried chilli in the rice. That made for a good throat burn. Hooray for cold Keo beer!

Throughout the evening I was noticing increassing pressure on my bottom teeth. It was not at all painful, but the pressure was constant and noticeable. The top teeth only showed signs of being under any pressure if I pushed my tongue against them.

All of a sudden...CRACK! Something had happened. But what? I felt around with my tongue. The braces seemed to be intact. Had a filling come out that I had bitten? I felt around again. Everything felt normal. Hmmm. Strange. I finished off my meatballs and went to the loo to investigate.

What had in fact happened was that the glue on one of the brackets on the lower teeth had failed and the bracket had sprung off the tooth. The wire was still intact and the bracket was just spinning round on it. It didn't look too drastic (and the pressure on the lower teeth had eased off somewhat) so I resolved to ring Stephen in the morning.

On with the braces!

Today was the big day.

My appointment was first thing in the afternoon, so I had the morning to fret about things. I invited my mother and a friend over for coffee in the morning. It gave us an excuse to gorge on the gooey, sticky, remains of the Millionaire's Shortbread I had made over the weekend. I sadly surrendered all that was left to my mother; I somehow don't think that braces and sticky caramel go together too well.

I was advised to eat a big lunch because my teeth may be a bit sore after the braces go on so eating could be difficult. Unfortunately, I was too nervous to eat much, though I did manage a bit of toast.

I got to the clinic ridiculously early and they were having a staff meeting in the waiting room, so I was settled down in the reception area with a raft of paperwork to read and sign. I must say, they seemed to be having a nice, jolly staff meeting. Clearly nobody was in trouble for anything that day!

I ploughed through the paperwork. It banged on at length about what to expect, what to do, what not to do, why traditional orthodontists are apparently snooty about cosmetic orthodontic treatment and it asked me to agree to arbitration instead of litigation in case of any disputes. I balked a bit at that one; being a lawyer. Nothing like a juicy court case if you feel aggrieved! However, there's actually nothing wrong with arbitration, in my view, so I signed. I also had to sign a piece of paper saying that they could use any photographs they took of me for promotional or educational purposes. I balked a bit at that one, too, but once I was satisfied that Stephen wasn't planning to erect a giant hoarding on the A12 with pictures of me on it I signed on the dotted line and we were good to go.

First he took the pictures he wanted. It felt a bit like having a police mug shot taken. Not, I hasten to add, that I have ever had a mug shot taken! Then he put a load of vaseline on my lips to prevent them drying out (I had already used lip balm, just in case) and put a stretchy rubber contraption in my mouth to keep the lips held back off the teeth. I was actually quite grateful for that contraption because it holds your mouth open and means you don't have to make any effort to do so. It could be pretty tiring holding your mouth open for an hour.

First the teeth were cleaned with some gel stuff that felt quite cold, and dried. Then Stephen applied glue to the top teeth. The brackets come pre-loaded in a tray fitted to the shape of my mouth. He pressed the tray onto my teeth and they used a light to set the glue. The tray got pulled off and then the same was done to the lower teeth. All I felt was pressure as he pushed the trays onto the glue. No pain or discomfort.

He drilled away excess glue/cement and also started the process of shaving down the edges of the teeth. Because the teeth are crowded, room has to be made for them to move. This is achieved by shaving off up to 1/2mm from the edge of each tooth (the enamel is 3mm thick so there is plenty left). I had thought that all this would be done at the first visit and that my teeth would have visible gaps. I was pleased to discover that in fact the shaving down is done as necessary on each follow up visit. Today Stephen just shaved down some large fillings I have in the back molars rather than go straight for the tooth enamel. I was very happy about that.

Then the wires were put in place. I could feel a pull on the teeth as this was done. There was quite a lot of pressure on the one recalcitrant tooth in the lower jaw which is the cause of me needing to have the lower set done. The pressure was enough to make me squeak, but that was more from suprise at the sudden heavy pressure rather than pain as such. However it was only momentary.

Finally he checked my bite. As expected he found that if I were to bite down hard I would be in danger of dislodging the brackets. So he had to built up areas of cement on my top teeth to prevent the teeth from meeting fully at any other point. This state of affairs needs to last for a couple of months until the teeth have started moving and the danger is past. Chewing stuff will be interesting in the meantime!

As expected the procedure took an hour. Stephen said that the main feedback he gets from patients is that they get mouth ulcers for the first couple of days and the mouth can feel a bit bruised and sore. He advised soft foods initially and went through the list of foods and drinks to avoid if I don't want the braces to stain. Not sure if I will survive without spaghetti, curry and red wine.

The braces feel really big and unwieldy. They are very obvious close up if you smile to show your teeth. They also push my lips forward a little so even when my mouth is closed you can tell something is not quite normal, if you know me well enough.

Speaking felt very odd at first but you fairly quickly get used to it. I can already tell I will be adjusting my speaking to minimise the amount of tooth on show; that's partly through feeling self-conscious but partly to stop the lips moving over the braces constantly and thus being at higher risk of ulcers.

I can feel a slight pressure on my teeth from the braces. I have read from other accounts that the bruised feeling kicks in a couple of hours after fitting. It's currently 3 1/2 hours after fitting and I feel no pain at all. Let's hope it stays that way.

Whatever floats your boat!

I saw on Facebook the other day that my friend went for a flotation session. I hadn't heard of flotation (or floatation, as people seem to insist on spelling it) so I checked it out.

Basically you spend an hour floating in a pod which contains about 10 inches of very warm and very salty water. The idea is that because your brain does not have to concentrate on a lot of things it usually does (like operating the muscles that keep you upright, for example) you can reach a very deep state of relaxation. The salt used in the water is Epsom Salt which is high in magnesium and the body can absorb this magnesium through the skin. Apparently most of us are deficient in magnesium and the body does not absorb more than it needs, so at worst it's not dangerous and at best it is therapeutic.

Hubby and I tried Thalassotherapy on a cruise ship once,and loved it. If you want to know more you can Google it, but basically it is a spa bath filled with very warm sea water. Not really like flotation at all, except for the salty water, but that link was good enough for us!

As it happens, my friend contacted me a couple of days later to say she had a voucher for a flotation session at a spa in Chelmsford that she could not use before expiry, and I was welcome to have it.

I rang the spa to make enquiries. They said that the flotation pod would fit both of us in, so we could have a session together. That sounded nice. We booked up.

When we arrived we sat in reception watching some ladies have a fish pedicure. I am deeply suspicious of fish pedicures and you would not catch me putting my feet anywhere near them. Not because I am scared of fish, but because I can't believe the tanks can be adequately sanitised. Having kept fish, I know how delicate they are, so if the tanks are adequately sanitised I can't believe the water is good for the fish. Either the water is bad for me or it is bad for the fish. Lose, lose as far as I'm concerned. But I digress...

We filled in the usual health questionnaire and then went through to the floatation room. It was a big room with a shower cubicle in the corner, places to leave your clothing and THE POD!

The pod looks like this:

The procedure is as follows: you undress and take a shower. They provide earplugs for you (didn't use them) and it is up to you whether or not you wear a swimming costume. You turn the light off in the main room (obviously you don't have to if you really don't want to) and get into the pod. They play 10 minutes of relaxing music and then the music is turned off. After 40 minutes or so of silence they play 5 minutes of music to indicate that it is the end of the session. The pod has a light switch in it so you can choose what colour lights you want in there, or can switch them off altogether. There are neck cushions in case you find it more comfortable to float with a cushion, and there is a panic button. You can leave the pod lid open if you wish, pull it half down or have it fully shut. You are warned not to shave for 24 hours before a session because the salt in the water is likely to sting. I forgot about this but luckily my armpits were none the worse for it. They also warn you against getting any of the water in your eyes as it will sting like hell.

So - what was it like?

I showered first and got in. The water felt quite hot at first; I suspect it was heated to body temperature. It also felt weird; Hubby described it as "slimy" which makes it sound unpleasant, but it wasn't. The buoyancy was amazing. I had been worried about falling asleep, turning face down and never waking up again. However you have to make a considerable effort to turn over, so I reckoned the chances of drowning were slim.

Then Hubby got in. There is not enough room for two in the pod. Now, admittedly Hubby is a large man. A very large man. A very, very large man. However, unless both people were stick thin and less than 5 feet tall the pod would not allow both of you to float without touching one another at all.

What's wrong with touching? Well, ordinarily, nothing. But it is worth bearing in mind that the original name for these pods is "Sensory Deprivation Tank". Now, "Sensory Deprivation Tank" does not sound all nice and therapeutic and spa-ish, so I can see why they call them flotation pods. The whole point about the pods is that you feel nothing and preferably that you see and hear nothing as well. (Unless you are wanting to lose weight or stop smoking or something, in which case apparently those motivational CDs you can buy are extra effective when played whilst you are floating.)

So, I lay back and enjoyed the warmth and quiet. For about 5 seconds.  Hubby decided he wanted to have his head nearer the open lid of the pod, where he would be cooler. Heave, heave, splash, splash. We rearranged ourselves in the pod. I lay back and closed my eyes again.

Splash, splash. Hubby had an itch. I tried to ignore the splashing. It subsided. I relaxed again.

Splash, splash. Hubby was trying to reach the light switch to change the colour. "Stop it!" I barked.

Silence. Blissful silence.

Splash, splash, splashity splosh! Hubby was sitting up so he could experiment with levering the pod lid up and down.

"You just cannot stay still for than one minute, can you?" I observed, somewhat testily. He looked chastened and stopped fiddling with the lid.

BANG! BANG! Someone was at the door. "Are you alright in there?" they asked. "Yes, we're fine" we replied, a little bemused. "Only you pressed the panic button." they continued. Yes, in his general heaving around Hubby had managed to press the button. I was now beginning to regret the slim chances of drowning, although it would have been Hubby that went under, and not me.

Silence. Blissful...

Splash. "DAMN! BLAST! B*****!" yelled Hubby.

"What is it?" I demanded.

"I've got water in my eye. It stings like hell, just like they said it would. I'm going to get out now."

I confess, I have never been more grateful for stinging, salty water. He got out, I yanked the lid down behind him and put the light off.

Bliss. All too soon, the music started and I had to get out.

My quibble with the spa we went to is that the facilities weren't all that luxurious. The shower cubicle was not huge and it was difficult to control the water temperature. The hairdrying area was a glorified broom cupboard with no shelf or anything to rest make up or hairbrushes on. After an hour of floating you really do feel relaxed (well, you must do; I felt relaxed after my float and I only got about 15 minutes of proper peace and quiet) and all you want to do is waft around and get dressed in surroundings a bit more like my gym and a bit less like the school washroom.

We will definitely float again, but we need to find somewhere with separate pods. I can't guarantee Hubby's safety if we ever go in a pod together in the future.

The torture session

I ummed and aahed about the hygienist. The devil on my shoulder reminded me of the many awful torture sessions I had at the hands of hygienists. The angel on my other shoulder nagged me about the need to have clean teeth before the braces go on and pointed out that things must have changed since I last visited a hygienist.

In the end I listened to the angel and booked myself in.

I arrived at the clinic with some trepidation. The hygienist, Kate, came to collect me from the waiting room. She didn't look like Caligula. Well, she wouldn't would she? She's not a man. She didn't look like Agrippina, either.

I warned her about my wariness and she took it all in her stride. Then the pointy instruments came out.

Prod, prod, prod. Didn't hurt a bit.

"Everything looks pretty good" she pronounced. "Floss like mad before the braces go on, because it will be difficult afterwards."

Then she got out a fiercer looking instrument. Prod, prod. CRUNCH. CRUNCH.

"Those crunchy sounds are just tartar coming away." she said. I was beginning to wonder if she had somehow slipped me a valium without my noticing, because despite the prods and crunches, nothing hurt. At all. And I was quite calm.

All of a sudden she put away her pointy instruments and got out some tape. TAPE! The "valium" wore off instantly. The tape/floss regime had been the last straw with previous hygienists. Have you ever had somebody else floss your teeth? No? Lucky you. My teeth are very close together and as they are not straight it takes a lot of care to glide the floss between them and get it down to the gum line without it suddenly flying out at the bottom of the teeth and chopping into your gum like a cheese wire. It's bad enough doing it yourself. All the hygienists in the past have sliced my gums with gusto with their tape.

I clutched the arms of the couch and waited. The tape rasped slowly down between my teeth. I braced myself for the slice. It didn't come. "Fluke" I thought, and braced myself again as she moved on to the next area. Surely the slice would come soon. It never did.

Then came the glorious announcement "I'll just polish those teeth for you and then we're finished."

As I left, I told her that she is the first on my list of hygienists who are safe to visit.

You get what you pay for.

After some further Googling I came across The Dental Studio in Colchester.

http://www.the-dental-studio.com/

They advertised Clearstep, which is similar to Invisalign and - hooray! - Six Month Smiles.

I rang up to ask about Six Month Smiles. The lady I spoke to was very helpful, gave me lots of basic information and told me I would have to pay a consultation fee but that would include a full set of X Rays so that if I did want to go ahead I could proceed that day. Since I had got nothing much of use when I went for that free consultation in Chelmsford I thought "in for a penny, in for a pound" and made an appointment.

The consultation was great. The surgery is easy to get to, parking was fine, the surgery was clean and airy and the staff were friendly.

The dentist I saw was Stephen Pitt. He was very approachable, had a good look around my mouth, took loads of X Rays and confirmed I was suitable for the treatment. Given the amount of movement needed my treatment would probably take closer to 9 months than 6. Then he said that he thought I ought to have my bottom teeth done as well as the top. Groan. Here we go again.

I quizzed him about why and he explained in detail. He showed me the main area of the bottom jaw where the bite would not align once the top teeth are straightened. Instead of looking nonplussed, like the last dentist, when I demanded to know why I should care about having my bite fully aligned, he explained how it could cause problems with my jaw, and possibly with the teeth if I didn't. He said he was prepared just to do the top teeth if I wanted, but that I should be aware of the possible issues. Since it costs less than half as much again to do the bottom at the same time as the top I had a secret "in for a penny, in for a pound" moment but said I would go away and think about it so they wouldn't think I was a total pushover.

A couple of days later I came back to have impressions made of my teeth.

They put a load of purple gunk inside a tray and then press it to the teeth. The gunk feels quite cold and they have to push your lips around a bit to make sure the mould is sufficiently detailed. It doesn't hurt, or even feel uncomfortable, although you might not like it if you have a very strong gag reflex quite far forward in your palate. The gunk sets in a couple of minutes and after they have cleaned all the purple goo away from round your mouth, you're good to go. Except....


"You need to see the hygienist before we fit the braces." said Stephen. "It will be hard to clean your teeth perfectly while they are on, and you have some gum inflammation that needs to be seen to. It will take a couple of weeks for the braces to be ready, so please see the hygienist during that time."

See the hygienist? I haven't seen a hygienist in over a decade. My dentist cleans my teeth. Hygienists are all related to Ivan the Terrible or Caligula as far as I can tell. I wonder if I should back out now. Then I think, "Well, he can't make me see the hygienist, surely." I go to pay my deposit for the treatment and go home; I have been defiant and NOT made an appointment to see the resident torturer, er, I mean hygienist.

What did the hairdresser have to do with it?

I was having my hair done at the excellent Escape Hair and Beauty Sanctuary and chatting to Emma.

We got talking about dentistry; I forget how. She said she had a couple of friends who had the Six Month Smiles treatment and were very happy with it. She said that a clinic in Chelmsford was offering free consultations and that her friends had gone to the clinic.

So I made an appointment for a consultation and off I went.

I wasn't dead impressed with the consultation. I had planned not to have my lower teeth done as they are not unsightly and you hardly see them anyway. The dentist I saw wasn't really very helpful in explaining why I should have the lower teeth done as well, and could not explain to me why it was important for my bite to be fully aligned. He suggested I arrange another consultation to find out about Invisalign which they also offer but said that if I wanted just the top teeth done via Six Month Smiles he could do it.

It all felt a bit unsatisfactory, frankly. Also, although the clinic had parking it was not nearly adequate for the size of the facility. The prospect of monthly trips to Chelmsford with a nightmare trying to find somewhere to park was not endearing this clinic to me.

I noticed that a clinic in Witham seemed to be offering Invisalign so I popped in there the following week. Although I didn't really want Invisalign it seemed to be an option, and having a clinic I could walk to had its benefits.

I presented myself at the counter and said to the receptionist "Do you carry out orthodontic treatments here?"

"Orfo wot?"

I tried again. "Orthodontic treatments. Like Invisalign."

"Vizza wot?"

"Invisalign!" I said, staring hard at the two vast posters I had just spotted in the reception area, both advertising Invisalign.

She went off to ask, came back to say they did and then booked me in for a consultation the next day.

At 6pm my mobile went, so I answered it.

"Hello, is that Bella? You've got a consultation booked in for tomorrow. Sorreee but can you tell me what the consultation is for coz there's somefink gone wrong with my computer."

Sigh. "Invisalign."

"Vizza wot? Oh, wait a minute. I remember now."

Hallelujah!

She continued "Well, I forgot to tell you that you will have to pay a £40 consultation fee."

That was the straw the broke the camel's back. I cancelled the appointment.

Back to the drawing board. Or rather the keyboard, and Google.

As my old Gran used to say....

When I was little I used to hate having my hair washed and always complained that it hurt when my hair was being combed out afterwards. My Gran would say in reply:

"You have to suffer to be beautiful"

She knew what she was talking about!

So, why this blog?

Well, I am just about to embark on getting my teeth straightened. Again.

I had a load of orthodontic work done as a child. Mouthguards, train tracks, plates, headgear...you name it; I had it. Eventually the braces were removed to reveal lovely straight teeth. Marvellous.

Some years later the wisdom teeth made their appearance and ruined all the good work.

Admittedly my teeth could look worse. A lot worse. But they have bugged me for years; it especially irks me when the other half insists I grin like an ape for a photograph which then, in my view, is completely spoiled by my wonky teeth.

I wasn't prepared to go back to years of metal mouth so I have lived with my gnashers and looked after them faithfully.

Then I started reading about stuff like Invisalign, which sounded kind of OK but still takes a long time. More recently I saw something about Six Month Smiles. I didn't really research it much until I went to the hairdresser (all will be explained...).

I'll elaborate later but suffice to say that I have decided to take the plunge.

I have noticed that there is not a lot of information out there about Six Month Smiles apart from the usual promotional stuff.

So I decided to blog about it so anyone who is interested can get some idea of what it is really like.

However, being a multi-tasking kind of a person (yes, of course I am female!) I thought that the blog may as well cover more than one thing.  Although I live in Essex I am nothing like as high maintenance as most of the girls here. However, I do like a bit of pampering from time to time, and I do like products that do what they say on the tin.

So, whilst the primary purpose of this blog is to tell you about Six Month Smiles, I'll be telling you about other stuff too. Hopefully not all of it will involve suffering...